A worldwide tech outage caused by a software update to global cybersecurity software foiled a nation’s plans to skip work and play the highly anticipated NCAA College Football 25 video game, sources have confirmed.
“What are the damn odds?” asked Phil Bennett, who no-showed a roofing job on Friday in order to get a crack at the highly anticipated release. “I have been waiting ten years for this game to come out, and I finally get my hands on it, and the whole world shuts off for the day. This is all really inconvenient for me and my video game plans, you know?”
The shutdown affected airports, hospitals, and most tragically, those with long-standing plans to play the new Road to Glory mode as much as they could, as soon as possible.
“It’s been an absolutely awful day around here,” said Dr. Harold Jones of St. Mark’s Hospital. “I was hoping to sneak in a few games between surgeries on the PS5 we have set up, but everything went down. Not only was I unable to perform today’s procedures on time, but I had to read a book in the break room like an absolute asshole. Just a really sad day for college football fans everywhere.”
As of press time, the nation’s gamers had collectively agreed they wouldn’t go to work on Monday.
What a shame that people might actually have to read a book for entertainment. That’s ridiculous, especially for a doctor. I sure wouldn’t want him as my doctor.
This was satire my dude!
All kidding aside, it’s frightening that an update glitch would have dire consequences on countless businesses and affect millions of people worldwide. Too few have too much power.
I work in IT and I ditched work simply to be ditching work. Reckon I made a wise choice!