Southwest Airlines announced a big upcoming change to their long-standing arrangement of first-come first-serve seating; passengers will now be allowed to fist fight over who gets the window seat, sources have confirmed.
“We knew this would be controversial, changing a system so many people liked,” said Robert E. Jordan, CEO of Southwest Airlines. “But many said that it wasn’t fair to the people that couldn’t get to the airport as early as others, that they’d never get a shot at the window seat. So now, we’re going to let people challenge those in the window seat to a five-minute bare-knuckle match right there in the aisle, and the flight crew will honor the results and make sure the loser goes and sits in a middle seat somewhere.”
The plan proved controversial, yet was admired by some.
“Wow, I think I’m gonna book my next vacation on Southwest for sure,” said frequent flyer Daniel King. “I don’t really want to challenge anyone for a window seat, but that just sounds so much more entertaining than most flights. Forget crying babies and annoying people, I want to be front row for the airplane fights!”
As of press time, Spirit Airlines had announced a similar new policy that will let passengers challenge the pilot to assume their responsibilities.
A bit early for April Fools Day
Why would anybody believe this?
Because he or she happens to be a Democrat. They will believe any lie told them without question.
Some people (see Howard and Wendell above) are still in the concrete thinking stage. I think this idea, while satire here, is a good one. We’re already seeing fights on airplanes. Might as well make them for a good cause.
Southwest is returning the armrest ashtrays to most flights. Not really! They’re just re-using old airplanes.
Again, stupidity !!