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Home U.S. News

Oscar the Grouch Declares MS NOW’s Reporting ‘Too Trashy To Eat’

Joe King by Joe King
December 5, 2025
in U.S. News
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MS NOW has entered a new era of journalistic collapse after publishing a report accusing an allegedly “intoxicated” woman of needing an FBI escort home, sources have confirmed.

The only problem, critics note, is that the woman doesn’t drink.



Director Kash Patel’s supporters immediately asked the network the obvious question:

“So would you rather she drove drunk… even though she literally can’t, because again — SHE DOESN’T DRINK?”

The story was so embarrassingly flimsy that Oscar the Grouch, America’s foremost authority on trash, issued a statement saying, “This is the kind of garbage even I won’t touch. I’d rather eat last year’s banana peels than MS NOW’s reporting.”

Eyewitnesses say his trash can visibly shuddered in agreement.

Insiders allege MS NOW approved the story using their new editorial standards:

  1. No evidence needed
  2. No sources required
  3. Just vibes, feelings, and maybe a dream you had once

Critics say the network now faces two brutal questions:

“How does it feel knowing Oscar the Grouch — a creature who bathes in landfill — thinks your news is fake garbage?”

And “Don’t you have literally anything else to do besides creating fake scandals and slandering sober people?”

As of press time, MS NOW was reportedly preparing to publish a follow-up claiming Kash Patel once jaywalked “with suspicious confidence.”

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Comments 10

  1. Pia says:
    8 months ago

    MS-NOW = bottom of the heap.

    Reply
    • Joe Modarots says:
      8 months ago

      MS-NOW=More Shit NOW !

      Reply
  2. AC says:
    8 months ago

    Kash Patel spent two years waging a war to get the DC Swamp to release The Epstein Files. Now that he is FBI Director of the “most powerful country in the world” (for now). Kash Patel does not want to ever release the Epstein files. Patel is a pawn of Trump. To me, Kash Patel is a baffoon. What exactly is Kash Patel hiding, anyway? To me , and millions of patriotic Americans, Patel is hiding something. You have to be an idiot not to think that Patel isn’t covering for the Pedofile in chief. Kash Patel is a pawn of Trump and has no credibility and is not protecting the American people nor care about the US Constitution. Ask yourself – are you really any safer or less safe as an American? Honestly, I am less safe. While Kristi Noem spends millions of Americans taxpayer dollars, at the behest of Trump, without Congressional approval, Patel is spitting on the faces of fellow Americans and the US Constitution positioning himself and the current POTUS ‘tough on crime.’ Most everyone in America gets that we are a nation of immigrants. The only natives to the Americas are the Native Americans. At least that is what read in my history books . Trump is trying to dumb down the average hard working American. BREAKING NEWS: Patel and Trump and Trumps minions are trying to pit average everyday Americans against each other. We were better under Biden, and Obama. At least they respected to US Constitution. In fact, Obama taught Constitiutional Law. Patel and Trump spit on the faces of average everyday Americans. Trump pardons the President of Honduras and says he is tough on drug traffickers, while blows ships up off the Venezuela coast. The one thing I do agree with is that Americans should not allow drugs to be trafficked into America and in on to American streets. But when Trump pardoned one of the worst drug traffickers a man who was known to want Americans to OD on cocaine, and does not give a rats ass for any American. And yet Trump pardons him anyway. What back door deal is being made. All these men are protecting each other . Yet, the average American defends Patel and Trump because the say they are “tough on crime.”
    As my dad often said, “Too much talkie, talkie; not enough doie, doie,” There is a lot of pomp and circumstance going on. The average American is watching the current news cycle and looking for two showman out on a bombastic display without any substance. Most of America does not realize that we are in a dictatorship. There is hope though. Millions of Americans will need to push back and resist what is happening. Otherwise, America will just be another dictatorship. It will require effort . Most Americans are good and capable. A few want to watch television and think of politics as a a passive event. American History is rich with courageous people who were willing to sacrifice their lives so that you and I can live comfortable lives. Unfortunately, our democracy requires full participation by 15 percent of the populous to push back a dictatorship and protect our way of life. Americans will never agree on everything . But we have a US Constitution and our way of life. Personally, I am one of the committed 15 percent ent that wants to protect our way of life. QUESTION: But, are you???? . The good news is that that there is a pathway forward. We can impeach Trump and all his minions. Senator Greene will be presenting articles of conscience impeachment to the US House of Representatives by Christmas 2025. The Supreme Court is useless and is simply an arm of the Executive Branch. We need more Supreme Court Justices, maybe 26, there is nothing stopping us from doing this except the Republican Party which was sold out to Trump and is simply a pawn of the current POTUS. Who is by far the most incompetent presidents of our 250 year history.

    Reply
    • Nivek says:
      8 months ago

      Your lengthy rebuttal, while cloaked in faux patriotism, is woefully short of facts and overloaded with opinion based on liberal talking points. Even with his warts I will take 45 and 47 gleefully, over 44 and 46.

      Reply
  3. GSM says:
    8 months ago

    Anyone who actually watches any of the media’s on the boob tube ! Are indoctrinated into the agendas of our enemies.
    What will God do when he comes toTake his out of this evil world ? And he finds you in front of the very thing that controls you .
    The boob tube tells you what to believe How to act and shows you evil in ways that you can’t even imagine! ! A full blown EMP as horrible as that would be. Would get Americans back to being Americans. No wonder those who are poisoning us and killing us . Think they own us !

    Reply
  4. Nivek says:
    8 months ago

    Your lengthy rebuttal, while cloaked in faux patriotism, is woefully short of facts and overloaded with opinion based on liberal talking points. Even with his warts I will take 45 and 47 gleefully, over 44 and 46.

    Reply
    • GSM says:
      8 months ago

      AC is a troll Either AI generated or Worse!
      I suspect from.
      A foreign country. AC’s comments verge on the insane rantings of a delusional inept entity . Too programmed with just enough truth to con. But facts n bet emerge !
      Satan didn’t lie to Eve. He left out the real reason for his attack
      So this AC

      Reply
  5. AC says:
    8 months ago

    Jesus was woke

    I can’t speak for all liberals, but as a liberal…
    I wonder why Christians hate Christian values so much.
    You’re going to hate me, but I’m an honest guy so I’m going to tell you this. I’m a liberal atheist.
    I was raised in multiple churches by a born-again Christian mother. I didn’t become an atheist for a lack of trying.
    So, for my entire childhood, I went to church. I attended Bible studies. I was in Youth Groups. I sang in the Youth Choir and then the Adult Choir with real robes! My first reading of the Bible was the King James text. My mom bought me the Scofield Reference Edition for my graduation. In college, I dated a girl who was trying on the Southern Baptist church and I attended church with her and a few Bible Studies. I bought my very own Scofield for the NIV edition. Read the whole thing all over again.
    It was then, as I closed the book after the final page, I decided I’d never pick it up again. Oh! The contradictions! Verse after verse negated what had been written in other parts of the Bible. I’m not the only one who noticed. The contradictions were right there, annotated by Scofield. The contradictions are known to their own scholars.
    I tell you this to provide enough background that you may trust that I fully understand your religion. I understand the values of Christ.
    I hate to break it to you, but Jesus was FUCKING WOKE.
    Feeding the poor. Healing the sick. Preaching kindness. Teaching charity. Washing the feet of the leaper. His parents were displaced and seeking shelter, just like an immigrant. He was homeless, roving the countryside with his flock. He asked us to love our neighbors and to invite the homeless into our own homes.
    It’s all right there in the red ink of the New Testament.
    Do you know what he didn’t teach?
    Build the wall. Not in there.
    Just kiss them. Don’t even ask. Just kiss them. Not in there.
    Grope your neighbor’s pussy. Not in there.
    Build a mega-Joel Osteen temple and fly G7 planes to Davos? Not in there.
    Call liberals names and say that we should be killed for doing HIS works? Not in there.
    As I told you before, I’m an atheist.
    I could not reconcile the actions of Christians to the words of scripture. And frankly, I couldn’t stand hanging around with you anymore. So I left.
    What do I do? I work for a large City, helping deliver services to our 500,000 citizens. I work with our police department. I work with our Courts. I work with our Parks Department. I donate time and money to our local food banks to feed the poor.
    When tragedy strikes? While you are sending thoughts and prayers, I’m out there asking how I can help. What can I do? Where do you need me? How can I help to lift this rock out of your path and to ease your burdens?
    Why do I do those things? It’s possible I learned about them from you when I was a teen. Maybe I learned them from my time as a Presbyterian. Maybe it was when mom joined the United Church of Christ. Maybe it was when I attended Catholic services with friends. Maybe it was when I was a Baptist for a couple of semesters. Maybe I’m just a nice guy.
    But I’m a liberal so you don’t value me or what I do. You don’t want to know your neighbor.
    That’s okay. I never ask the people I help if they are good enough to receive my help. I don’t look at their skin. I live in Arizona. I don’t care if my neighbor came from Mexico, or Honduras. I don’t ask. I try to help where I can.
    So I ask you. You wrote this question. You assume I hate you.
    Why?
    Maybe you resent me for living the values you now deny.
    Maybe it’s time for a little self-reflection.
    And before you pound your keyboard trying to demonstrate how wrong I am, please try to remember:
    WWJD?
    Hint: He wouldn’t do that.

    Reply
    • GSM says:
      8 months ago

      Your blasphemy just opened your portal to the hot house. You will not escape. You will be on your knees before God.
      Jesus was not woke. You had better actually read the word of God ! Your soul depends on it
      Your stupidity has reached the insane levels of no return. You are just one of the reasons America is about to feel the wrath of God. . You know Absolutely nothing of the truth Especially anything about Our Lord Hod of Heaven. Your lack of knowledge only shows you can pick scriptures That you never studied or read .

      Reply
  6. AC says:
    8 months ago

    John 6: 35 Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.”

    Source: The Bible NIV “The real deal”

    Reply

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