Hollywood shockwaves rattled Sacramento after actress Halle Berry said that Gov. Gavin Newsom “probably should not be the next president,” prompting what insiders describe as “a meltdown so dramatic it could earn its own Oscar,” sources have confirmed.
Witnesses say Newsom stormed into his office, slammed the door, and stress-ate an entire tub of Ben & Jerry’s — a tub, not a pint — while whimpering about “the emotional violence of celebrity opinions.”
Sources claim he then FaceTimed three billionaire tech CEOs to ask if he was “still special” and whether they continued to believe he “looked presidential in soft lighting.”
One CEO reportedly hung up to finish yoga; the others pretended their Wi-Fi died.
Californians shrugged, noting Newsom invests more passion into protecting his CEO buddies and Silicon Valley stock babies than into women’s healthcare, small businesses, or people trying not to get mugged on their morning latte walks.
The meltdown escalated when a legislative aide casually said, “Well, Halle Berry is beautiful and she has every right to her opinion.”
Newsom reportedly spun toward his reflection and began arguing with it, shouting, “I’m beautiful too! My feelings matter! VOTE FOR ME!”
As of press time, staffers were drafting an emergency “Governor Emotional Support Protocol” requiring aromatherapy candles, whale sounds, and a daily affirmation reminding Newsom he is “handsome, valid, and still loved by at least two CEOs.”
Halle Berry is truly beautiful. It would have been so great to see Newsom’s expression as Halle was talking – did he understand what she said, or does he have ear plugs that block what he does not want to hear? Halle’s comment just broke his “sound barrier”!
I absolutely love Gavin Newsom. Gavin Newsom is a true American Patriot. Gavin Newsom should be a US Presidential candidate in 2028; a visionary and try follower of the US constitution. Senator Mark Kelly of AZ for Vice President. Kelly is an American Patriot, Combat war veteran, astronaut , A powerful union of compassionate, caring, committed, and concerned minds, who believe in the US constitution, and could lead the USA and direct fellow Americans (immigrants) including law abiding Somalians into the future. That’s the ticket! 🇺🇸
LOL…
You finally have convinced me…
Your just “trolling!”
Have fun ! 👍🤣
. . . . and all lour sons are valiant, and all our daughters are virtuous.
Your are living in a dream world on another planet, or smoking something that is probably illegal
You might want to visit a proctologist and have your head removed from your rear end.
Sounds like you all don’t believe in the US constitution, correct? Or do ya’ll do? I believe there is a space for you (which looks to be only a few people here), in Russia, and China. We all won’t be speaking English much longer. Maybe Russian or Mandarin, or another language. My guess is that you would agree with my conclusion. Or am I wrong on so many levels. We may be better breaking off into Blue states and Red states because most of the Red States seem to siphon hard earned tax dollars and feed off poor vulnerable few to feed the rich and sort of famous.
YOU ARE O DELUSIONAL IT IS PATHETIC !!!
Actually, I am completely sober. Have not had an ounce of alcohol or any drugs. But it seems like many if not all of the ones who post here are in some kinda la la land. Or was I wrong about that too?! So many levels, I know… can’t wait to hear the feedback… to be continued…
I highly recommend MeidasTouch on Substack for a different perspective. I am trolling… but don’t take my word for it..