NEWARK, NJ — Billionaire blue-collar troubadour Bruce Springsteen continued his brave war on greed this week by charging working-class fans up to $2,900 to hear him explain that America has become too expensive for working-class fans, sources have confirmed.
The Boss, beloved for singing about factory workers, busted towns, and ordinary people scraping by, reportedly paused beneath $4 million worth of stage lights to condemn rich elites from a VIP section guarded by men whose hourly rate could bankrupt a diner.
“This tour is about fighting power,” Springsteen allegedly told the crowd.
“That’s why we’re selling $90 ‘No Kings’ flags in the concourse. Nothing says working-class rebellion like premium fabric priced like a utility bill.”
Fans were then invited to purchase a $65 T-shirt, a $28 beer, and a commemorative “Fight The System” tote bag large enough to carry one mortgage payment.
Outside the arena, independent bootleg T-shirt sellers were reportedly shut down by Springsteen’s merch team, despite looking exactly like the struggling street hustlers Bruce has spent 50 years turning into choruses.
“These are the people Bruce loves in songs,” said one fan.
“Unfortunately, in real life, they were competing with his revenue stream.”
Concert insiders say Springsteen plans to continue defending the little guy one platinum-tier ticket, luxury merch table, and corporate-approved protest anthem at a time.
As of press time, The Boss had announced his next album, Born To Run Your Credit Card, featuring the hit single, “Working Man, Please Exit Through The Gift Shop.”
This is horrible, a working man could not afford to be there,the Boss was great at one time but overpriced! God love the working man. No