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Trump Faithful Celebrate Sobriety by Accident, Liquor Sales Soar

J.K. Around by J.K. Around
April 2, 2025
in Politics
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Trump Faithful Celebrate Sobriety by Accident, Liquor Sales Soar
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MAGA supporters celebrate “Liberation Day” with unexpected boozy tribute, sources have confirmed.

In an unusual mix-up, scores of MAGA supporters across the nation have reportedly confused “Liberation Day” with “Libation Day,” leading to an impromptu national teetotaling event in honor of President Trump. Eager to show their unwavering support, many have taken to pouring out their prized spirits, believing they were paying homage to the president’s legendary temperance.



Witnesses report rivers of bourbon, streams of scotch, and lakes of beer flooding the streets as faithful followers chant, “Free from spirits, in spirit with Trump!” Meanwhile, bewildered Trump critics have scrambled to salvage the discarded booze, with one entrepreneur in Texas even starting a “Rescue the Brew” initiative.

The confusion began when a typo in a viral social media post led thousands to believe that Trump had declared a new national holiday, encouraging Americans to liberate themselves from alcohol. The error was amplified by enthusiastic retweets, shares, and the echo chamber effect, none of whom seemed to notice the mistake.

As of press time, local liquor stores report a sudden spike in sales, likely due to the same individuals attempting to restock their now-empty liquor cabinets, proving once again that in politics, every day is a good day for a drink.

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