MADISON, WI — Hasan Piker warned that “the knives will be out” after socialist Francesca Hong lost Wisconsin’s Democratic gubernatorial primary, prompting party officials to discover the screws weren’t loose anymore because they had completely fallen out, sources have confirmed.
DSA headquarters immediately entered battle mode by ordering twelve ring lights, three microphones, vegan snacks, and absolutely no one with military experience.
“The establishment is coming for us,” Piker reportedly shouted from a streaming chair worth more than several Wisconsin tractors.
Moderate Democrats responded with their newest bipartisan strategy: NOPE.
Republicans enthusiastically joined.
Political scientists called it the first successful bipartisan coalition since both parties agreed airport coffee costs too much.
In several deep-blue cities, Republicans were reportedly registering as Democrats just long enough to vote for whichever candidate appeared least likely to nationalize their lawn mower.
DSA organizers retaliated by posting seventeen TikToks, crying during a strategy call, and declaring losing elections an oppressive form of vote counting.
Piker warned socialists to prepare for political warfare.
Unfortunately, nobody knew how.
One volunteer suggested knocking on doors.
The room gasped.
Another proposed talking to Americans who disagreed with them.
Security removed him immediately.
As of press time, Democrats and Republicans had discovered a powerful shared platform: America may be imperfect, but nobody wants government confiscating the grill.
The DSA is SO crazy that finally, even the DNC has noticed !
In the state of Massachusetts, you are allowed to register as undeclared. This allows you to choose a party during a primary. Thus, I plan on asking for a Democratic ticket just so I can vote against the socialist. Not a fan of Stephen Lynch, but I also don’t want his challenger to get nominated.
The current romance with the DSA will not win for a few general election cycles but it is being fueled by spoiled young white liberals who have had everything handed to them by their parents and who have been brainwashed by their college leftist professors (who couldn’t hold a job in the real world.) It will only be a matter of time before these spoiled participation trophy kids will become the voting majority. Then capitalist America will morph into the worst European socialist model. And don’t count on the hypocritical power craving Democrat Party to do anything to stop this DSA philosophy.
Tuna,
Well said…
Unfortunately, if we are lucky it will morph into the worst European socialist model…
If we are not so lucky it will morph in to the worst Central/South American model !
Socialism has been around for a very long time. Eugene V. Debs led a socialist party. Adolf Hitler led a successful socialist party as did Joseph Stalin and Mao in China. So, when we see National Socialists active again, we should not be surprised. Socialism has been successful and modern adherents admire the successes of these great men, except maybe for Adolf. These great men have assisted in reducing world hunger through population controls. If you talk to many in the former East Germany, they look back with nostalgia. I recently had a tour guide in the Netherlands who admired how well everyone had it in the east and how capitalism reduced them to beggars.
In every case so successful socialism, the strategic supporters thought that they could be used and controlled.
Hitler, Stalin and Mao were “successful” socialists?
If your definition of successful is the murder of millions, a starving populace, a collapsed economy and not having the freedom to leave, they were wildly successful.
Idiot.
I was drafted in 1971. I grew up those two years serving my country, even though it was not voluntary. But once you have skin in the game, it’s frustrating to watch people who have given nothing to this country who criticize. Too bad we don’t have the draft anymore. These young elites just have no clue and are easily brainwashed.
Spot on Joe…
Piker is a jihadist. DSA is a Trojan Horse for jihad and intifada. They won’t go away. Their demonic minds aren’t ready to unravel. The price of Liberty is eternal vigilance.