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Home U.S. News

Cuban Migrants Mistake California for Florida, Coast Guard Confused

J.K. Around by J.K. Around
February 20, 2025
in U.S. News
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Migrants off California coast
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In an astonishing feat of navigation that left cartographers baffled, a makeshift raft carrying a group of Cuban migrants was intercepted off the shore of California, sources have confirmed.

This incident is part of a rising trend of sea invasions as migrants turn to the Pacific, driven by the recent closure of the southern border.



The raft, ingeniously crafted from discarded Che Guevara T-shirts and buoyed by sheer determination, apparently mistook the Pacific Ocean for the Florida Straits in a bold yet misguided bid for American soil. “This is a new level of wrong turn,” remarked a Coast Guard spokesperson, as the raft’s soggy passengers were brought ashore. The migrants, undeterred by their geographical miscalculation, were reportedly surprised to learn that Hollywood is not a short swim from Havana.

Experts are perplexed at the raft’s 90-degree navigational error, with some suggesting the compass was made in China and simply couldn’t handle the truth of American directions. Meanwhile, conspiracy theorists posit that the migrants were aiming for Silicon Valley to launch a startup called “RaftAway,” a travel service for the directionally challenged.

As of press time, surfing instructors along the California coast were offering navigation lessons, cleverly marketing to any future rafters considering the trans-Pacific journey.

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Comments 1

  1. Terry Story says:
    4 months ago

    I love this one, must be Democrats that are providing the directional navigation for the Cubans!

    Reply

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