HOLLYWOOD — Panic reportedly spread across Hollywood this week after Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson declined to participate in what insiders describe as the entertainment industry’s annual “Tell America How To Think” campaign, sources have confirmed.
The emergency began after actors including George Takei and Wil Wheaton publicly criticized Johnson’s reluctance to weigh into politics, while comedian Matt Rife reportedly wandered into the online food fight with popcorn and front-row seats.
According to completely reliable satirical sources, Hollywood executives immediately convened an emergency meeting to determine whether an actor could still be considered an actor if he insisted on entertaining people instead of scolding them.
“This threatens everything we’ve built,” one studio consultant allegedly cried.
“If audiences start expecting movies instead of lectures, we’re finished.”
Several celebrities reportedly denounced Johnson from the safety of gated estates using phones held by assistants standing at the perfect lighting angle.
Anonymous insiders claim each post was carefully reviewed by three publicists, two image consultants, and one emotional support life coach before being published.
Johnson, meanwhile, reportedly responded by lifting weights roughly the size of a compact car before quietly returning to work.
Moviegoers seemed confused by the outrage.
“I thought his job was making movies,” one fan shrugged.
“Apparently his real assignment was becoming my political science professor.”
As of press time, Hollywood had reportedly formed a bipartisan emergency task force to determine whether refusing to lecture America should be classified as an unauthorized act of independent thought.
The Rock has earned respect. The others, ridicule.
Well said, RESPECT!
There are a few entertainers that actually ‘Entertain’.
This is America, everyone is entitled to believe what they want and live the lifestyle they choose. The problem comes in when people try to impose their opinions or lifestyles on others, especially when those opinions and lifestyles are out of sync with the mainstream. George Takei is gay. What he does in his bedroom is his business, but I don’t need to be exposed to his barely clothed cadre sashaying down the street or be compelled to observe Pride Month activities.
No Thanks . It was a plot to get him on their side. And get Johnson to donate money to the democrats’ party.. But forget Johnson has seen both side . And has met Trump and Spoken to him many time in New York. Trump used to come watch Johnson wrestle all the time at Madison Square Garden.
The Rock has a job. He choses not to alienate half his audience, with issues not relevant to business. will and George don’t have careers, about which to worry .
On another site is “George Takei led the criticism on social media. He argued on Threads that Johnson’s silence on major issues makes him complicit. Takei wrote that keeping political views private only helps the status quo.” Well, Takei’s statements exposes Takei’s stupidity as well as his arrogance and close-mindedness. Maybe Takei wants attention because he doesn’t have a job – he’s a has-been.
George Takei led the criticism on social media. He argued on Threads that Johnson’s silence on major issues makes him complicit. Takei wrote that keeping political views private only helps the status quo.
Takei is no longer “in vogue” so maybe he wants attention. Also, maybe he’s not “in vogue” because he should keep silent about his political views. There is an adage: Better to keep your mouth shut and let others think you are stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
I appreciate any entertainer who just entertains. I’m not interested in their politics. Interesting, two ex-actors providing their opinion. Gee, and here I thought they were both dead. Oh well.
Thank GOD for Dwayne Johnson, an old school, great actor, that stays out of politics.
Beautiful!
Yay!
FINALLY!
Fantastic article!! Well written and very funny. Thanks for the smiles and chuckles.