WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA — Gov. Gavin Newsom celebrated an abandoned construction site occupied by coyotes as California’s successful affordable-housing project, sources have confirmed.
The unfinished development, once intended for human residents, was reclassified as a “multispecies equity village” after officials noticed the coyotes paid no rent, paid no taxes, demanded free food, and howled whenever anyone mentioned responsibility.
“They’re already perfect Californians,” Newsom said while cutting a ribbon tied between two exposed pipes.
“They occupy property they didn’t build, expect someone else to maintain it, and become aggressive when asked to leave.”
State officials awarded the developer another $60 million to add gender-neutral dens, organic chicken dispensers, climate-conscious howling zones, and EV chargers for animals without vehicles.
When neighbors complained about nightly screaming, West Hollywood officials explained that the pack was holding a peaceful rent-control demonstration.
Democratic strategists distributed voter-registration forms after realizing Hollywood actors were fleeing faster than campaign volunteers could replace them.
Newsom denied importing voters, describing the coyotes as “longtime undocumented residents with community ties.”
Officials praised the project for reaching full occupancy without completing walls, plumbing, electricity, or anything traditionally associated with housing.
As of press time, California had counted each howl as three mail-in ballots and declared the coyote condo rent-stabilized, carbon-neutral, and historically underfunded.
You go Newsom..why not come to NYC as we need coyotes here too!!!!Caro
What gets me is why people continue to live in those progressive hellholes.
Because they don’t believe it’ll affect them and everyone that’s not liberal will pay. It’s like a girl in Florida hen Obama was running for Prez, said she’ll vote for him and get free gas, free food, free living expenses. Wish there was a followup to see how it all worked out for her. That’s the uneducated mind set. Bet she doesn’t know how to spell Socialism.
Now that the border is closed, the Coyotes are out of work ! If Newsom didn’t give them free housing, free food, free Internet, free medical, free education etc. like he gives all the other crooks it would be unfair and discriminatory to Coyotes !
CA cheats during the elections, the Democrats are controlling the polls. We recalled Newscum, but as always, his administration found a way to cheat. So now these coyotes wi vote as well. Democrats are known to cheat!!!
Love the satire. The saddest part is that this is only a slight deviation from the idiocy, lunacy and stupidity of Newsome and the DNC.