WASHINGTON, D.C. — Longtime Democratic strategist James Carville threatened to quit the party after discovering its socialist wing had replaced the platform with a circus tent, sources have confirmed.
Carville arrived at headquarters expecting a strategy meeting but found Hasan Piker performing the Marxist High-Wire Act above a flaming pile of private property.
AOC fired tax dollars from a confetti cannon while Zohran Mamdani promised audience members free housing, groceries, transportation, and a pony trained to blame landlords.
Democratic leaders insisted everything was normal from inside a clown car labeled “BIG TENT.”
“I’ve worked with liberals, progressives, consultants, and people who say ‘Latinx’ without laughing,” Carville said. “But I’m not sharing a political party with a millionaire streamer explaining poverty from a luxury studio.”
Piker responded that capitalism had failed because his internet buffered during a livestream.
The DSA then attempted to nationalize the concession stand, abolish ticket prices, and charge wealthy attendees $9,000 for popcorn.
Carville packed his belongings into a circus wagon and announced he would disappear just like every promise made during a socialist campaign.
Party officials begged him to stay, warning that without Carville, nobody would remain who remembered Democrats once tried to win elections.
As of press time, Carville escaped through the emergency flap seconds before the DSA nationalized the exit and appointed the clown car chairman.
Th Th Th That’s all folks !
They have let in so many in their “big tent” that the party has gone nuts.
I really regret losing a loyal opposition party. Sadly I will never return to the party I loved.
Heaven help our country!
My Marine friends, family and coworkers are some of the strongest, tuffest , hard working, resilient , dedicated and loyal human beings I have ever had the pleasure and honor of knowing! When the “ Rage’n Cajon “ Marine has “left the building,” you know that your tent is
infested way beyond habitable standards for normal men and your party is
in serious trouble !
The democrat party is nothing but hate of one man and false promises to lead the sheep to slaughter.
As to Carville, good riddance! For the rest, let’s not count our chickens before their hatched. I see some profound misunderstanding of socialism as a normal tool in a capitalist society, i.e. libraries, roads, social security, police, and of course, the armed forces.
Carville is smart enough to leave the party, but he’s too unscrupulous, too indoctrinated, to do so. The Dems, are too far gone to ever return and the American dem voter is too brainwashed to see anything differently.