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Colorado Passes Legislation Mandating Everyone Just Like, Chill Out, You Know?

Joe King by Joe King
April 5, 2024
in U.S. News
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Colorado Passes Legislation Mandating Everyone Just Like, Chill Out, You Know?
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A group of stoned Colorado lawmakers have passed a new bill requiring everyone to just like, chill out a little bit, sources have confirmed. 

“Man, we shoulda thought of this shit years ago,” said State Representative Jason Crow (D-Colo.) ripping a hit from a three-foot water bong and signing his name on the bill, which had been hasitly drafted on the back of a CVS receipt. “Ever since we legalized marijuana, the good ideas have just been pouring out of us. What a wonderful time for our beautiful state.” 



Residents of Colorado reported having mixed feelings about the long term effects of recreational marijuana legalization. 

“I’m glad we are able to tax marijuana and turn everyone’s love for it into a generous stream of income for our state,” said Colorado resident Laurie Wilmer. “But on the other hand, it’s probably gone a little too far. Everyone in this state is just so fucking high all the time. I went to a Rockies game the other day and they played a Snoop Dogg song instead of the National Anthem. I think we need to rein it all in a little bit, and we really need to stop letting these guys pass laws while they’re blown out of their mind.”

As of press time, Colorado lawmakers have introduced another bill that would require all Taco Bell stores to stay open, like, all night and stuff.

Tags: ColoradoMarijuana
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  1. Mike says:
    2 years ago

    getting stupid shows

    Reply

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