LOS ANGELES — In what historians are calling the most dangerous act of political heresy since a journalist asked a Democrat where the money went, former Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa suffered a terrifying moment of clarity on live television and admitted California’s endless parade of failures might not actually be Donald Trump’s fault, sources have confirmed.
“We have the highest homelessness, gas prices, utilities, and home prices,” Villaraigosa said, looking like a man who accidentally swallowed the red pill instead of his usual kale smoothie.
“People can’t afford rent. And yes, these things happened under Democratic policies.”
Democrat strategists immediately hit the panic button and launched an emergency Zoom meeting titled, “How Do We Blame This On Orange Man Before He Says Something Else True?”
Villaraigosa attempted to recover by mumbling the sacred incantation “Trump is a threat to democracy,” but the damage was done.
California now boasts tent cities large enough to apply for statehood, utility bills that require financing, and gas prices so high even EVs are considering walking.
“We spent decades turning paradise into Venezuela with better In-N-Out access,” whispered one insider.
“Then this guy almost ruined everything by noticing.”
As of press time, California Democrats were frantically searching for new villains while quietly wondering whether governing like responsible adults might be worth a shot.
