Major League Baseball unveiled its latest left-wing innovation this week: a strike-zone robot capable of making bad calls with the confidence of a tenured bureaucrat, Sources have confirmed
The Automated Ball-Strike system, originally sold as a simple accuracy tool, has reportedly already evolved into a full-blown mechanized umpire activist, overriding common sense while league officials insist fans must trust the machine because “science” has now been mounted behind home plate.
Witnesses say the manager storming out of the dugout was not a meltdown, but one of the last beautiful acts of human resistance in professional sports.
Republicans praised the argument as a throwback to a better America, when a bad call was made by a man with eyes instead of a chrome appliance programmed by spreadsheet liberals who think every problem can be solved by replacing judgment with software.
“This isn’t baseball anymore,” one fan said.
“It’s Jetsons nonsense. The robot misses the pitch, then lectures us about accuracy.”
Sources say MLB’s next upgrades will include empathy-based box scores, participation trophies for teams under .500, and counseling for players emotionally harmed by automated oppression disguised as innovation.
As of press time, the robot had missed three more calls, frozen briefly, and still been declared more reliable than every human in the stadium.
Unfortunately this would not surprise me at all.
You can make fun of the ABS, but
some of the human umpires don’t know the street zone, and it changes from pitch to pitch. No consistency, and that is the problem with human umpires
I never watch this anti American show
I only see the really stupid things on Greg Gutfield show
or on Facebook
Why would anyone watch those digusting COWS