WASHINGTON — As millions of Americans celebrated the nation’s 250th Independence Day with fireworks, parades, backyard cookouts, and enough grilled hot dogs to alarm several cardiologists, people from around the world reportedly joined in wishing America a happy birthday, sources have confirmed.
From World Cup visitors filling American streets to families watching fireworks from overseas, messages poured in celebrating a nation that has spent two and a half centuries proving free people can build extraordinary things.
According to sources, the celebration briefly confused America’s socialist activists, who were stunned to discover millions of people around the globe voluntarily liked the United States.
“This can’t be right,” one activist reportedly gasped. “Have they not read the internet?”
Meanwhile, visitors from Japan, France, Romania, the United Kingdom, Brazil, and dozens of other countries smiled, waved American flags, and joined Fourth of July festivities while thanking locals for the hospitality.
Undeterred, several socialist organizers allegedly proposed an emergency International Redistribution Summit where every country celebrating America’s birthday would first be required to “share their prosperity equally.”
The proposal reportedly collapsed after attendees asked who would be volunteering to give up theirs first.
Across America, however, the answer was simpler: families gathered, neighbors laughed, veterans were thanked, and children chased fireworks beneath a sky painted red, white, and blue.
As of press time, the socialist planning committee had reportedly demanded that America’s birthday cake be divided equally before admitting everyone seemed happier just passing another slice.
A shame the left is so bonkers that they take the time to hate on this wonderful country.
There’s no question the liberals do not understand freedom. They need to go to a socialist or communist country for indoctrination. Most f them would more than likely spend time in a foreign counties prison.
There are a few theories in play as to why the left behaves the way they do and hate what they see in America,
1. Virtue signaling. They get an inner sense of warmth if they point out the blemishes of our society. They grab morale superiority in protesting for whatever the cause of the week is. Perceived champion of your cause.
2. True communists. Chaos is their reason for being. Fighting for drastic political change. Everything should cost less. I’ve been screwed because those others gamed the system. The game is rigged and we are here to help fix the game and punish those who deserve it.
3. True loners and misfits that are in need of some attachment to others. Incapable of doing that on their own, joining a group of strangers gives them a social life. Doesn’t really matter what the protests are about, they are now connecting to others and are part of a group. They are a member. Yeah!!
I worked for a few months in Venezuela and it was sad what the people there were experiencing. Hunger and despair were daily challenges. I had a very skinny lady asking me how big my suitcase was, before I could tell her, another coworker told me why she was asking, to see if she can fit in it. These young kids are very stupid because they have no idea what living in a socialist society.
There’s a perverted irony in the fact that without successful rich capitalists, socialists would not have anyone to tax to pay for their free transportation and social program ideas.
I love your Scrapes. I’m now 98 but soon 99
WWll vet. Praying for your successful work into the future. My future. Thank You
Thank you Mr. Clawson for your service. Hope you gave a wonderful 99th birthday! God bless!