AUGUSTA, ME — Democrat campaign organizers were reportedly seen wandering through Maine this week asking local businesses whether they accepted Robux after the party burned through $16 million promoting failed candidate Graham Platner, sources have confirmed.
According to insiders, staffers first tried paying vendors with leftover yard signs, unused bumper stickers, and several tote bags reading “This Is The One.”
The hardware store declined.
“So did the printer,” one exhausted treasurer admitted.
“Apparently democracy runs on cash.”
Sources say party leaders had once described Platner as “the future of Maine politics,” though one donor later compared the investment to buying a used car with three tires, smoke pouring from the hood, and every warning light on the dashboard.
“The salesman kept saying she’s good as new,” the donor said.
“Then the bumper fell off before we left the lot.”
Campaign officials reportedly blamed misinformation, bad timing, voter confusion, weather, social media, the moon phase, and “insufficient appreciation for bold messaging.”
One strategist insisted the $16 million was not wasted.
“It was a learning investment,” he said.
Local Republicans were allegedly still laughing hard enough to require oxygen.
As of press time, campaign staff had reportedly launched a new fundraising drive titled Help Us Buy A Fourth Tire For The Democracy Van while quietly asking whether Roblox offered bulk currency discounts.
The old saying still prevalent in Maine
(STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES). ANNND common sense once again prevails. Nuff said. Vote conservative.
It was a good learing investment.
The Communist caught in their own lie, for a change.
Wait a minute , you mean it wasn’t President Trumps fault? Unbelievable!!!!
Unfortunately, he was not a conservative. Otherwise he would have been elected like Donald Trump!
Your comment is no surprise. Deflection is all you have.
Hey Santo. Maybe we should elect a criminal like Hillary Clinton who managed to have 33,000 e-mails that were subpoenaed by Congress, which I understand is very hard to do. I don’t need a fancy law degree or Doctrate in Philosophy to conclude that someone that goes through that much effort has an awful lot to hide. Let’s not forget her campaign paying $10 million for a dossier that was proven to be a falsehood and triggered the Russian collusion hoax that Trump was impeached for at a cost to us American taxpayers of $32 million. Sounds like high treason of which she should be facing a “CAPITAL” sentence (I volunteer to be the hangman). Or Nancy Pelosi whose family
has profited from inside info she had on the stock market, or her complete dereliction of protecting the Capital on January 6th. Or the congenial liar Adam Schiff who has continually proven himself a liar and may himself be a criminal for mortage fraud.
Santo what is what is wrong with being a conservative? It beats being a communist scumsucking lying jackass!