A failed attempt to address the ongoing immigration crisis in America saw President Joe Biden visit the Canadian border, frustrated sources have confirmed.
“I don’t see what the big deal is,” said the President, sipping a coffee from Tim Horton’s and complaining that it wasn’t hot enough. “Everyone’s been freaking out about these people flooding in and taking American jobs, but the only person I met was a nice fella in a Toronto Maple Leafs hat that said he was crossing over to watch them play the Red Wings. The media is making entirely too much out of this non-story.”
Despite the crowd being filled with his supporters, many attendees of Biden’s speech were left unconvinced of his Presidential merit.
“I came to see him speak because I thought he might talk about inflation or creating jobs or something,” said this Glenn Carter, an out of work auto worker. “But he mostly just talked about ice cream and maple syrup. It wasn’t that different from any of his other speeches, really. I personally took it as a sign that this guy’s brain is absolutely cooked, but he did say he was heading to Mexico after this, so maybe he’ll figure it out after all.”
As of press time, Biden had arrived in Albuquerque and congratulated everyone there on building a new Mexico.
