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Home Entertainment

WNBA Launches Department of Authentic Womanhood After Two Former NBA Players Apply

Joe King by Joe King
August 25, 2026
in Entertainment, Sports
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NEW YORK CITY — The WNBA entered an unprecedented administrative crisis Monday after ruling Enes Kanter Freedom and Royce White ineligible for the draft, forcing league officials to establish a new department responsible for determining which declarations of womanhood are sufficiently sincere, sources have confirmed.

The department’s first application reportedly asks:

“Are you a woman?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, but are you serious?”

League consultants immediately produced a 900-page Authenticity Evaluation Manual involving interviews, affidavits, vibes, social-media history, and one extremely nervous HR representative.

Freedom and White protested.

“You said women can play.”

“Yes.”

“We say we’re women.”

“Not like that.”

Nobody spoke for several minutes.

Officials then unveiled a complicated eligibility flowchart beginning with INCLUSION and somehow ending at PLEASE STOP ASKING QUESTIONS.

WNBA players reportedly watched from nearby while executives tried explaining why protecting women’s competition requires rules everyone can understand but nobody wants to define.

One intern suggested simply creating clear competitive categories.

She was promoted immediately for ending twelve committee meetings.

As of press time, the WNBA had formed a task force to define eligibility, another task force to define the first task force, and a third to determine whether definitions themselves are inclusive.

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Comments 14

  1. Austin says:
    1 month ago

    This isn’t really that complicated. Just speak the obvious truth that everybody knows. Speak it out loud and Direct and everybody shuts up. Truth. The truth will set you free.

    Reply
    • Deanna says:
      1 month ago

      100% correct! I was horrified to be watching a wnba game the other night when a man stood up with a shirt defining what a woman is & the security people, a few of the players on the Sky team, and some fans booed the guy. He was escorted out. All his shirt said was the truth. Woman, noun, adult human, female. Nothing untrue of malicious about it.

      Reply
  2. Joe Modarots says:
    1 month ago

    Is it possible that the WNBA has finally defined for the left what a woman is ?
    It sounds like their definition of a WOMAN is anyone who will placate the lefts constant need for narcissistic, feminist, misandrist, flow ! Even if they have a penis !
    So, if you are willing to put on a dress and placate their flow need, you’re a woman !
    If you are willing to grow your hair long and placate their flow need, you’re a woman !
    If your willing to present yourself in any manner considered to be “classically feminine,”
    and placate their flow need, your a woman ! Even if you have a penis !
    On the flip side , if you are not willing to put on a dress and placate their flow, you’re not a woman ! If you’re not willing to grow your hair long and placate their flow need, you’re not a woman ! If you are not willing to present yourself in some manner considered to be” classically
    feminine,” your not a woman ! Even if you have a penis !
    Unless of course you are willing to cut your penis off ! Then you too get to be a woman ! You aren’t even required to do any of that other stuff then !

    Reply
  3. Greg says:
    1 month ago

    The sport of basketball was invented by a WHITE MAN and he would be spinning in his grave if he knew what this sport has became. A laughing stock, get rid of the upper management and bring in better people to manage this sport and keep all natural born men out. Get rid of the black trash ugly man that Slow Biden brought back from the men’s prison in Russia.

    Reply
  4. Ann says:
    1 month ago

    EASY….just drop your pants….there ya go!

    Reply
    • Joe Modarots says:
      1 month ago

      Ann,
      Did we date in College ?…
      That pick up line sounds familiar !

      Reply
  5. FL_Dad says:
    1 month ago

    Every sport should have a Trans league where confused people can compete against other confused people. There. Problem solved. My consulting invoice is in the mail.

    Reply
    • John A. Eldon says:
      1 month ago

      Yours is the best solution to the problem. Have a women-only league, a men-only league, and an open league open to anyone who wants to join. I am all for gay rights and gay marriage, but not for biological men using women’s locker rooms or competing in women’s sports. Everything I read and observe indicates that this is a pretty mainstream moderate position, neither homophobic nor discriminatory.

      Reply
  6. Jim Selfo says:
    1 month ago

    Confused people. Just turn them down. They’ll get tired and go home.

    Reply
  7. Jim Self says:
    1 month ago

    Confused people. Just turn them down. They’ll get tired and go home.

    Reply
  8. Jim Self says:
    1 month ago

    Confused people. Just turn them down. They’ll get tired and go home. The internet provides the ability to state lies as if they all were facts not to be questioned. It’s broken. In my days those mistruths would be presented to a newspaper as an editorial, and the editors would throw them into the wastebasket. We need more of that kind of common sense and less of this circus.

    Reply
  9. Lorinda says:
    1 month ago

    DNA. DUH.

    Reply
    • Gary says:
      1 month ago

      D let us start with that Griner Character!!! Pretty sure how that DNA will cone out!

      Reply
  10. The patriot says:
    1 month ago

    if it wasn’t for Caitlin Clark I wouldn’t even be listening to this nonsense. However since Clark is the best FEMALE player ever i follow this absurdity. It is a real shame that the wnba doen’t know what thr W sstands for plus we have a supreme court justice who can’t define a women. No wonder the sport as well as the country is messed up

    Reply

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