Politics
Joe Biden Promises Earlier Bedtime for Nation if Re-elected
During a speech on the campaign trail earlier today, incumbent President Joe Biden promised the nation that we’d all get...
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Nikki Haley Defeated in Michigan Primary by ‘Please Do Not Write Below this Line’
Nikki Haley has lost yet another presidential primary to a non-entity, following up her Nevada defeat to “none of these...
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BREAKING: Kamala Harris Caught on Hot Mic Uttering Complete Nonsense
WASHINGTON — Unaware that her microphone was on and recording, Vice President Kamala Harris was caught earlier today spouting just...
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Election Bumped Up to April to Ensure Both Elderly Candidates Still Alive
In a stunning move that garnered bipartisan support, emergency legislature passed last last night that would bump the 2024 U.S....
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Here’s Why It’s Over for Donald Tru – Ah Shit, Nevermind
In case you missed the news over the weekend, Donald Trump absolutely roasted his chances in the upcoming election by...
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White House Announces Next Press Secretary Will Be So Gay You Won’t Even Believe It
WASHINGTON — The White House issued a statement today informing the public that when the time comes to pick current...
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Democrats Remind Young Voters How Important It Is To Get Out and Vote for Them
WASHINGTON — As the new year dawns and the Presidential election draws closer, prominent Democrats have begun reminding young voters...
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Depressed Ron DeSantis Spotted Running for President of Local Bowling League
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Following his disastrous and widely mocked campaign for President of the United States, a disheveled and unshaved...
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Troubling Reports Surface that White House Aides Keep Watching ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’
WASHINGTON — Disturbing rumors continue to circulate that White House aides are repeatedly watching Weekend at Bernie’s, the 1989 film...
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